Her fingers trembled with hope and excitement. Her anticipated happiness seemed so contagious that even the wind caught its color and sparked with electricity. Her anxiety was killing her so much that she resolved to shut it out from her consciousness. She tried and failed miserably; it did not even remotely seem to work. Her soul debated if it was worth being so vulnerable like a child, to trust her instincts and act impulsively. Her mind warned her not to slight the lessons learned from the bitter experiences, that it isn’t easy to escape the pain once the door opens. She clenched her fists tight and spun around. She caught a fleeting glimpse of something whizzing past on the other side that her eyes did not register clearly just as the door creaked open and a ray of light fell on her face. She froze and her heart skipped a beat. Was that it? Was it what she had been dreaming all this while for, or was it something she hoped to never see.
Her heart beat fast as it urged her to go for it, to have hope, to trust and to take a chance so that she will never have to regret brushing inches past it and never having the courage to open the door further to find her treasure. But her grown up self paralyzed her body trying to remind her of the scars and the pain that might very well be waiting for her in guise on the other side.
The door was never as easy to open. It had always been shut tight and locked complexly. She had to struggle hard the other times, but now it stood gently and slightly open as if beckoning her to discover its contents. She had nothing but her alone to prevent her from taking a step further. She had her alone to blame for any course of events that would result. It was her alone that could change her fate, or has fate already decided what she would do? She would never know.
Her fingers trembled, her heart beat at its fastest. Her teary eyes quivered with a mixture of hope and fear. She is not able to stand this charged up atmosphere. She is waiting for the rain and calm aftermath. She looked up to sky for an answer for a sign, for a slightest movement to tell her what to do. Today was exceptionally still, or perhaps in her state she could not register anything happening around her. Should she take life as it comes, should she do as she felt right here, right now in this moment, or should she give up control to her body and soul which knew what pain felt like and give up on taking a chance? What should she do?? What did she do?